How would you feel if you had a Christmas card from a father that ?

guy, i am going through the same thing but, to a different degree. you are at an age now to weigh up what you truly want. you should take it all as it comes, i don't blame you for feeling confused, i would be. the key is to do whatever makes you happy. your father cannot really expect a card to soothe all the wounds, and maybe he will realise that. don't allow yourself to feel bad or so low where suicide is the only way out, it isn't. perhaps when you are feeling stronger you could write to your father and explain how the card made you feel, and be honest. and communicate on your terms. i ume you know where he is so thats a start to begin dealing with things the way you understand them. whatever you do, do it to help yourself nobody else.